today, my stepmother's sister treated me like crap. my stepmom told her i had a job [i've been looking for so long] and when we started talking about it, the sister told me how horrible the place was. how bad the service was, and how terrible the food is... i was so offended. i didn't even bring it up! it was like, okay. i work in fast food. i have my first job, and i was really proud of getting it. my dad didn't care when i tried to talk to him about it, about how mean the sister was being and how she kept going on about how i picked a horrible place, and he didn't care.

lately, me and my mom don't really get along. every little thing starts a screaming match, and every little screaming match turns into a long held sparring. its getting ridiculous, but today, i needed to rant to her, and she couldn't stop telling me how much she loved me and how proud she was that i didn't yell at my stepmoms sister. i realized how there she was for me.

now, i see that i can't change for them. if i change, it will be involuntary and the result of time and decisions i make. i will not act like a perfect little girl. because i'm not. i'm not pristine. i am a sexual being, yes. but still a virgin. i am outspoken, and i curse. i say what i think and i dont hold back.

even if i wasn't what was desired, i am beautiful all the same.